Gender Neutral Children

Based on my own observation through keeping up with news and the information presented in this article, it seems as though the phenomenon of parents raising their children as 'gender neutral' has become increasingly common in recent years. Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper, parents of five-year-old Sasha, did not publicly reveal the gender of their son until they felt that they had no choice (once Sasha entered kindergarten). The basis of this decision lies in their disdain for gender stereotyping that seems to pervade every corner of modern society. Sasha's mother, in an article by Daily Mail, said, "Gender affects what children wear and what they can play with, and that shapes the kind of person they become. I start to get cross with it if it skews their potential." For this reason, Beck and Kieran referred to Sasha as "the infant" rather than addressing him as their son or daughter and only told a select few what Sasha's gender actually is. In addition, his parents allowed him to play with both dolls and Legos and wear both boys' and girls' clothing.

One of the main differences that distinguishes Sasha's parents from Storm's parents is that Sasha's parents are "keen to highlight the issue publicly and get other parents talking about it" whereas Storm's parents did not seem to have this intention. Canadians Kathy Witterick and David Stocker made the decision to raise their baby Storm as gender neutral, but Kathy was not too thrilled about all the criticism directed towards her and her husband after their announcement became public. Kathy wrote in a letter, "The strong, lightning-fast, vitriolic response was a shock. The idea that the whole world must know our baby's sex strikes me as unhealthy and voyeuristic." The reasons that Kathy and David cite for raising Storm as gender neutral are similar to the reasons that Sasha's parents named, however. Kathy calls it "a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime."

I personally think this is such a positive, refreshing way to look at it. I agree that we are very bound by the stereotypes associated with our respective genders, and the idea that perhaps we can free ourselves from these stereotypes before they have an opportunity to take hold of us is intriguing. I do think there are definitely limitations to attempting to raise a gender neutral child, however. An American child psychiatrist named Dr. Harold Koplewicz, quoted in the Daily Mail article, does not agree with this practice, claiming that "when children are born, they're not a blank slate. We do have male brains and female brains." This is where I have a bit of a hard time wrapping my mind around this child-rearing strategy and thus know that I would not be capable myself of raising my child in such a way.

To me it is a shame that, despite the general spread of tolerance and acceptance in society these last few decades, people feel the need to attack these parents for their decision to raise their children in unconventional ways. If people made derisive, harshly judgmental comments directed toward parents disregarding their child's gender in the first few years simply because they were concerned about the development of the child, such comments would be slightly more tolerable. However, the majority of these critics are simply unwilling to open their eyes to the possibility that perhaps norm-breaking practices may be exactly what our society needs to correct the ills and injustices prevalent in cultures around the world.